RAPE

Few weeks back, I attended a function where the Commander of Area ‘G’ Mr. Sam Ojehume was lecturing some girls on rape.
Many of them hid their faces and giggled, while one asked if she could use any weapon to kill the attacker. What a naïve question! I mean, why would any rapist allow you access to a weapon? It dawned on me that they actually didn’t know or appreciate the magnitude of what rape is all about.
I don’t need to have experienced rape to know the emotional trauma and psychological problems that a victim later goes through in life. Believe me, rape is not an incident to gloss or giggle over as a victim.
When my friend Bola told me that three men had once raped her I didn’t believe her. Why? She had a smile on her pretty face. I also considered the fact that Bola has this incredible penchant for telling silly, meaningless lies.
If she tells you good morning, better check your timepiece, I bet you the time would be 4pm. If she says stop, dearest, turn Ben Johnson!
Several times when I interviewed girl-teenagers – who had been raped, I wonder about the horror and terror they must had gone through during the horrible nightmare of their body being forcefully invaded by someone they never wanted.
And there are times; I’ve also asked myself if some cases could actually be called rape. Imagine a young babe keeping quiet after being allegedly raped because the assailant gave her some money. I did a story once at Makinde area of Oshodi, Lagos. She was just a budding teen-ager. The two oranges on her chest were still premature by my judgment and calculation. Her brother had discovered some large sum of money with her. She couldn’t explain how she came to have such an amount in her possession.
The boy gave her the beating of her life. She finally admitted that it was one Baba in the compound that gave it to her after sex. They’ve been doing it for two years! The old man was dragged to the police on a charge of rape.
Please tell me dear folks, I’m a little bit confuse here, is that rape? Police call it rape but I see it as a case of consenting partners.
Abi no bi money for hand, back for ground be that?
Rape is sudden and terrifying. It could happen to children or adults. I prefer to call sexual attack on kids as defilement, not rape. Rape is forced sexual intercourse. When you talk of rape, people immediately have mental vision of a man, forcefully wrestling a babe to the ground to impale her.
What an erroneous belief! Men have also been known to be raped. In a well known institution of higher learning in Nigeria- please don’t ask which- I heard some babes, suspected to be cultists - yes O babes too are into cultism - (they call themselves black bra; red pant and the latest are those calling themselves G-strings babes, another group is called daughters of Jezebel. How a sensible babe, can declare herself, a daughter of Jezebel beats me) anyway, these babes raped the guy like there was no tomorrow.
They were angry with him for always strolling into the girls’ hostel, like he owns it, even when it was light out. On that fateful day, unknown hands had jumped him from behind and pulled a hound over him. He was dragged into a room filled with naked babes.
The deal started. Whether he enjoyed it or not, I can not tell…yes, I didn’t ask.
But one-on-one, do you think he enjoyed it? As a guy have you ever being raped? Was it enjoyable?
Mail or text me please, I’m dying to know! Our brother’s strength started ebbing. They were said to have given him milk, raw eggs and other stimulants. Julie doesn’t know what other stimulants.
He later fainted and was dumped outside. His friends found him and carried him to a Medicare centre.
It had also happened in a girl’s boarding school. Please don’t egg me on or I wouldn’t know when or where to stop.
Rape can occur in your neigbourhood, under different situations. The rapist does not care whether you are naked or wearing full-length gown like Mountain of Fire or Deeper Life church members. His goal is to have sex with you whether you wanted or not.
I don’t subscribe to the idea that it is because a girl is dressed provocatively that could make someone to rape her, rubbish! Though it had also been known to be a contributing factor. The rapist may be someone close to you. Rape by someone you know is more likely to happen than with a stranger. The bad thing about rape aside from the psychological problem that comes with the experience is sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV/AIDS. How many rapists ever bother with condoms? How are you sure the rapist is not on a misguided revenge- mission, spreading HIV? I read somewhere where an angry HIV carrier, went on the rampage, banging anything which had a hole, surrounding bushes and wears bra and skirt. The guy discovered he was HIV positive and blamed all the women folk. By the time he decided to confess, he had banged more than 100 women, without protection of any kind. He even wrote down their names in a small black book.
I once heard that a lady under the threat of a rapist knife calmly told him, “It’s either you use condom or kill me with that knife…”
I find the story hard to swallow. Do you know that when that guy whom you’re nuts about forces you to have sex with him, he has committed statutory rape? In a developed society, the guy-yeah, your hubby or lover-could land in jail for that!
Rape is a grievous offence against anybody and should be reported to the police immediately. Before the act can be qualified as rape, one needs to shout. This of course can be pretty difficult if the guy is welding a glittering knife over your defenseless head.
Just don’t make it too easy for him. When I say shout, I don’t mean, moaning and groaning, as you spread your thighs further for him to gain proper entrance into your juicy well as he buries his shaft into you.
I also heard that some ladies enjoy being raped. To them, the only way to achieve orgasm is when they are raped. Perverts I call them! Or could it be some chemical reaction, hormones, genes gone haywire?
An incident of rape once destroyed a happy home. I really don’t know whether I have the time to give you folks this gist…hum…did I hear someone say spill it Julie.
Okay! A couple was returning from Ibadan when a supposedly broken down car owner in distress flagged them down to assist him to Lagos. They stopped and the son of a bitch whipped out a gun.
The nearby bushes took on life as other robbers sneaked out from their hiding places. Not satisfied with dispossessing the couple of all their valuables, the robbers gave the couple the devil’s alternative.
I will come back to the story later. I guess the best way to avoid rape is to be wary of those you call friends. Even your best friend can plot to have you raped due to some misplaced grievance. Be careful also with strangers. Do not move in dark alleys. I remembered the day a young lady ran out from a cluster of bushes, not too far from Charity bus stop, under the pedestrian bridge in Oshodi.
She ran across our bus and narrowly escaped being knocked down. The full glare of the headlight caught the scared look on her face. She was as naked as the day she was born! She clutched a tattered remain of her dress in front of her boobs. I’m ashamed to say our driver didn’t stop to help and the passengers only discussed the incident as a normal occurrence. Rape can disrupt a nice relationship.
Rape could make a lady avoid sex with her spouse due to psychological trauma. Avoid taking alcohol especially at parties. It is no longer secret that some bad guys could sneak drugs into drinks meant for potential victims or babes that had been playing hard to get.
Always lock your doors. Once you are raped, God forbid, but just in case it happens, call or report to the police. I know that it is pretty difficult to open yourself to prying eyes and inquisitive tongue of a strange police officer, but it is the best step to take if you wish to nail the bastard.
Rape can make you loose the guy you love. Most guys walk out once they learn their babe had been raped. This is bad! This is probably when she needs you most. Leaving her may forever affect her. Assist her to overcome the shock. I doubt if any Nigerian babe would walk out on her guy because some group of ladies decided to rape him.
Do not bath or douche your vagina after the incident. Try as much as possible to preserve all physical evidences. After police, go for medical examination and treatment. I know you may feel dirty, confused and ashamed but you need your strength to be able to survive the trauma. Above all, remember that the rape was never your fault.
Back to our story in the bushes, on Lagos/Ibadan expressway. The wife was to choose to either witness her hubby being shot or subject herself to rape.
The couple cried. The wife finally gave in. She was raped under the watchful eyes of her hubby. At home, the man became cold. He refused to sleep with her, ate her food or has a sane discussion with her.
Worried, she called a family meeting. There she finally opened the secret of that terrible night. She calls it the ultimate sacrifice. I fervently agree!
The angry husband spat: 'It’s not the rape that is the problem…She actually enjoyed it! Shame on you! I saw you moaning and raising your hip…. You never acted that way with me! You always lie there like a log of wood'.
The wife’s response was even more shattering. “Oti o! I will not listen to this”, whereupon the peaces talk degenerated into a heated argument.
Pandemonium was let loose. The highly charged wife yelled, 'Is it my fault? Is it my fault they know how to satisfy a woman than you don’t? I tried not to enjoy it! God knows I tried…”
You could have heard a pin drop.
Article first published in 2005

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